I'd like to say it was my husband's ongoing encouragement and confidence in my writing that encouraged me to start blogging again, but truthfully, it felt more like nagging.
Him: "When are you going to start writing again?"
Me: "I don't know."
Him:"You're really talented, you know..."
Me: "Yeah...I know." (*smiling* I'm so modest!)
Him: "If God gave you a gift, you should should use it."
Me: "Yeah, I know." (*really thinking*)
Other people kept asking me about this blog too. It's hard to explain why I stopped writing.
I don't think I was ready for the response I got from people, and I should state for the record that the response was both good and bad.
Good things that happened:
- I inspired some friends to start their own blogs which is really cool!
- I inspired other friends to start reexaminating their spiritual selves-- WAY COOLER!!!
- I felt like I found my niche in life which felt awesome.
- My husband deepened his faith-- AWESOME!
Bad things that happened:
- Some people started coming to me for religious/spiritual advice. I'm not a priest, folks! If you have serious spiritual questions, you need to go to confession and begin an ongoing relationship with your priest to get spiritual direction. They do that! You can just go talk to them, and they will give you advice. You just need to make an appointment and be prepared to hear their opinion. It reminds me of something a priest once told me-- God is always there and always ready to help you. Think of Him with an arm reaching down from Heaven. You just need to reach up and grab His hand. I don't think people realized how uncomfortable this made me feel. I just wanted to start a blog about my life. I never intended to become a spiritual director. That is a lot of responsibility.
- My blog made some friends feel uncomfortable around me. Even though I was the same person I had always been, some friends freaked out a bit and thought I was different.
- Some people made jerky comments about my blog. I remember this one mom from the neighborhood saying, "I read your blog. Well, not that much, but a little. That's cool that you're blogging, and I'm glad you're not taking yourself too seriously with the whole Catholic thing." What does that even mean? !?!
- Some friends/acquaintances tried to stereotype me. It was like they wanted to make a Catholic caricature out of me. It was as if they could only understand me if I fit into a box of what they thought a Catholic was. It was frustrating. I felt constrained in those relationships.
- Other friends wanted me to be their personal representative for the Catholic church. They wanted me to answer all their questions and address all their grievances against the church-- Why can't women be priests? What about the church sex scandal? The list goes on. I don't mind discussing those topics sometimes, but honestly, it got exhausting. At times, it was rude and obnoxious.
Ultimately, I needed a break, but I think I'm ready to blog again. Please bear with me as I experiment with my writing.