PT 2 Okay, we're here, now what? a guest post by Mike

This post is the second in a short series on faith and finances, written by my husband.  You can read part one here.

Fear is a funny thing.  Depending on what type of personality you have, it can steer you in different directions or none at all.  I'm the type of person that has to be in motion at all times, either physically or mentally.  When I add a dose of fear into the mix of constant motion, it is like getting a shot of adrenaline.  You may not necessarily know where you're going, but you're sure not going to be where you are when you're done.

2009 was an extremely challenging year from both a personal and professional standpoint.  The auto business was actually okay during the spring from a sales standpoint, but talk of the bankruptcies of both GM and Chrysler by summer really made the value of those cars challenged to say the least.  This sent a shockwave through the industry and created much uncertainty for businesses and people who made a living selling those vehicles.  This in turn made my irregular income even more volatile which caused a large amount of strain at home.  At one point, with my wife and child at home, we had a total of $12 until my next payday.  Writing about it now is making my chest tight even thinking about it.  I had moved my family across the country, and we were in very rough shape.  I felt like a victim and carried the mentality of one.

As 2009 moved along, the car market continued to improve, and we never missed a payment.  I watched our account like a hawk so that we would never pay an overdraft fee.  Additionally, I would figure out exactly how much we had for the following two weeks (which I was pretty good at), and Kate and I would agree to a pseudo budget (the real deal would come much later).  The summer was quite a struggle with my sister's wedding (which we knew of for at least 6 months) and a family medical emergency back on the east coast as well.  Both of those things rattled us financially, and I honestly felt like the boy who had his finger in the dam that could break at any minute.  The stress lasted for at least another 2 years.

The rest of 2009 and beginning of 2010 rolled along, and we almost decided to move back to the east coast due to the recent family medical events.  The car business continued to improve, and my career seemed to be getting back on track.  I was reading a significant amount in order to grow within my field, and it was having a significant and defined impact.  However, we still had a ton of debt, and our faith was very lukewarm.  Simply put, our lives were not in sync, and we were spinning our wheels.  Fear was still causing me to make decisions.

While reading, I came across a book titled "The Idiot Factor" by Larry Winget.  His essential point during this book was that you are whoever you want to be.  The culmination of your decisions and who you decide to surround yourself with are the driving factors in who you are, how much debt you have, how people treat you, your position in life, etc.  Quite honestly, I felt like I was reading a book that my father would have written.  Nobody speaks like this today and a good dose of reality was exactly what I needed.  This book was the first step for me in truly thinking of myself as being in the driver's seat vs. being a passenger on the bus. 

Things really started to get better from a career standpoint after changing my mentality (although we were still in a ton of debt).  Fear was something that I was able to fight back (or so I thought), but there was still something missing.  We simply weren't getting ahead in our lives.  I felt like we were driving through snow with a 4WD vehicle, but we couldn't engage the front axle.

The fall of 2010 changed all of that.

Seven Quick Takes

I'm linking up with Hallie for another installment of Seven Quick Takes.  Jen, you and your family are in our prayers.  We pray you recover quickly.  St. Michael, intercede.

 

 

{one}

 

Speaking of saints, I loved Jen's last post about using her Saint's Name Generator to pick a patron saint for the year.  Mike & I both used the generator to pick saints for us too (as soon as we finished reading her post on Tuesday), and we got some seemingly random ones.  The generator chose St. Peter Ou for me. 

source

 

He was a Chinese martyr.  Yikes.  The only way I seem to be able to relate to him is that he was very enthusiastic which I'd say is an adjective others would choose to describe me also.  I'm totally freaked out by the fact that he was strangled to death-- how horrific.

 

 

{two}

 

 

source

 

The generator chose St. Bernard of Menthon for Mike.  I will admit that I was slightly jealous of his pick.  His saint had St. Bernard dogs, was hospitable to travelers, and is the patron saint of skiing, snowboarding, hiking, backpacking, and mountaineering.  That's my kind of saint-- warm & fuzzy with no mention of martyrdom, particularly no reference to strangulation.  I'm all about dogs & backpacking.  Not as fond of imprisonment & strangulation.  Can't say I've ever been a fan.

 

 

{three}

 

I was very excited to see that Grace posted a birth announcement this week.  Not only is she one of my favorite bloggers, but I've been on the hunt for good news on both the Internet & in real life.  It seems like everyone I know is getting hit hard in the bad news front.  Boo.  Grace is hosting a birth story link up too.  Yay for happy link ups.  I don't have any birth stories written, but maybe I'll write one or three and post them in the days ahead. 

 

 

{four}

 

Mike has been off from work all this week, and I'm counting my blessings because everyone got sick this week.  Everyone, except Mike.  We all know that means he'll be sick when he goes back to work on Monday, right?  Poor guy.

If I had to describe the week we've had with kids, I'd compare it to one of those hell weeks in college when you pledge a fraternity or sorority.  You know what I'm talking about.  We are totally sleep deprived because the littles have kept us up 24-7 with runny and runnier noses and croup coughs.  We currently have 4 humidifiers running in the bedrooms to keep everyone's airways open.  Lots of breathing treatments with the nebulizer.  Lots of cough suppressant.  Lots of children breathing in frigid night air to beat the croup.  We hate you croup.  We hate you.

 

 

{five}

 

I took both Paul (croup) and Maura (croupier) to the doctor on Wednesday, and to Maura's pleasure and amazement, the doctor "prescribed" Popsicles to help soothe her sore, scratchy throat.  I have never seen a happier sick kid.  Yesterday, she climbed into our bed in the morning and announced, "I'd like a Popsicle for breakfast, please.  Doctor's orders are doctor's orders." 

 

 

{six}

 

Since the kids were feeling better yesterday, we decided to take them to the Oakland Zoo, so they could spread their germs to both unsuspecting children and animals.  You're welcome parents of Oakland.  The zoo was grand, as always.  The kids got some exercise and crisp air to open their lungs. 

 

an overexposed photo of me with the kiddos and giraffes behind us

Is that a halo forming behind us for our due diligence in taking care of our sick babes this week?  I think so.



No baby should ever visit the zoo without an animal hat.  Always fashionable.

{seven}

 

 Like always, Griffin could not be separated from his favorite part of the zoo.

 

 



G at the zoo from Kate on Vimeo.

I know what I'm getting him for his birthday.

Now go read some healthier Quick Takes.

2012 in photos

Hey gang!  Linking up with the always fun Dwija at House Unseen for a little 2012 recap in photos.  What a fun link up idea!  I mean, who doesn't love photos of the littles, right?

Looking back at these photos, I realize that this was a very busy year for our family with a lot of "big girl" milestones for Maura.  I can't believe she's getting so big!

For those of you who follow our blog, I apologize for our blogging break.  December was a tough month for our family.  Our house was robbed, and our brother-in-law was diagnosed with advanced stage lung cancer.  Please keep Jason in your prayers.  Many thanks in advance.

Wishing everyone a blessed new year!

"How did we get here?" a guest post by Mike

The following is part of an ongoing guest post series titled Mondays with Mike.

"How did we get here?"

That was the question my wife and I were asking each other during the fall of 2008.  My heart was pounding as I was going through bill after bill, paying the minimums, and trying to get through to the next month.  During the previous six months we had moved from New York to Nevada and besides basking in the neon of the Las Vegas strip (which we really didn't do that often), we were swimming in an ocean of debt.

The problem with bad choices is that sometimes they work out.  The problem with them working out sometimes is that those are the only ones you remember.  It's kind of like gambling.  Do you ever hear anyone telling you they had a great time in Vegas when they lost $1500?  Of course not (unless they're a masochist); you only hear about the times that they've won.  Hopefully you understand where I'm going with this. 

Here are a few examples:

2001: Decided to put our honeymoon on a credit card - bad idea!
2003: Decided to buy a house with 3% down - bad idea that worked out.
2005: Bought(yeah right, financed) a car with 4WD, so Kate would be safe driving country roads to work- bad idea that we broke even on.
2001-2006: Put 20K on credit cards for dinners, gifts, work expenses, clothes, and general home needs - really bad and stupid idea!!
2006: We refinanced our house (because it was worth a bunch more) to pay off our credit card debt and do the smart thing of paying it off at a lower rate: Bad idea!! We didn't learn a thing and started charging again...
2006-2008: ran up another 25K in credit card debt and traded in (see 2005) for an upgraded vehicle.  I work in the auto business and during the fall of 08 the car market was in the toilet.  If you have the gumption, that is the time to buy.  We did (finance), and it worked out great, but that is only because I've worked in the business for just short of a decade and understood the cycles.  I would not recommend financing something (like a house or a car) on a hunch.

For those keeping score: 25K credit card debt, 15K car debt, oh, and just bought a house in really good housing market LAS VEGAS!!!

And that's when the crap hit the fan. You see, after our daughter was born in 2007 we calculated (correctly by the way) that it was cheaper for Kate, and better for our daughter, to stay home with our daughter than to pay for daycare,  and fuel our 4WD vehicle for an 85 mile daily commute. 

So, we were living on one irregular income, a mountain of debt on top of us, living in a new place with no family, and the auto business (which I work in) wasn't exactly humming along (see GM, and Chrysler bailouts/bankruptcies for reference). 

I was extremely scared for my family, my career, and for me personally.

Keep reading next week on what we decided to do about it...

What I Wore Sunday-- Volume 6

Linking up again with everyone in their Sunday best at Fine Linen and Purple.

I had to take the kids (ages 5, 2, &1) to church BY MYSELF this weekend TWICE.  I can't believe I survived.

Yesterday, the kids were very well behaved & well rewarded after mass with some yummy pancakes.  Today, their behavior almost resulted in a Mommy reward (like a stop at the liquor store), but I kept my cool (mostly), drank some coffee, and I'm finally feeling better.

I wish, wish, wish my husband had been with me this weekend because our church has the most beautiful display I have ever seen honoring Our Lady.  There is a HUGE Our Lady of Guadalupe print hanging, and it is surrounded by roses (floor to ceiling).  As we approached the altar yesterday (and came closer to the display honoring Our Lady), my two older kids and I were just speechless at how beautiful the display was.  It's that beautiful, and I promise to go back to church and snap some pictures of it to post later this week.  Stunning.

Onto my outfit.  I am attempting to winterize a summer dress by pairing it with tights, boots, and a cardigan.  It's getting chilly here.

You won't get any head on shots of me this week.  I'm not trying to be artsy.  My face is totally broken out, and I don't want any reminders of what my skin looked like this week.  Ugh.

The details:

sweater: Target

dress: Goodwill

boots: Nordstrom

Now go check out everyone else's outfits at Fine Linen and Purple!

Seven Quick Takes

Joining Jen for another round of Seven Quick Takes.



{one}

 

 

I planned on doing a post about Advent this week but never got around to it.  We've been having a lot of fun.  Our oldest is 5-years-old, and she is VERY excited about Christmas.  We set up our Christmas houses, nativity set, Advent calendar, and Santa countdown so far. 

 

Our Advent calendar is pretty cool for the kiddos.  Each day, the kids open a door to reveal a piece to a magnetic nativity scene.

 

 The kids love it, and I think it's sweet that Griffin's godmother is the one who bought the calendar for the kids.

 

 

{two}

 

 

I cannot take credit for this next idea at all, but boy, oh boy, is it a great one for the littles.  Maura attends Kindergarten at our parish Catholic school, and I was thrilled when she came home last week with a homemade Advent calendar.  Yowza.  Here's a picture.

 

 

 Each day reveals an age appropriate service task to complete, and Maura is just as excited about learning what she needs to do each day as she is about discovering a new piece to the magnetic nativity and finding Bam Bam, our family's Elf on the Shelf.

 

Then, this week I read a guest post by Leanne of Life Happens When on A Knotted Life.  Leanne did a very similar craft (a paper link chain) with each link marked with an act of service with her 4-year-old son.  Leanne even generously lists a month's worth of age appropriate service ideas.  I'm bookmarking her post for next year.

 

{three}

We are an Elf on the Shelf family, and both Maura and Griffin having been having a lot of fun finding our elf each morning.  Maura & Bam Bam (our elf) have even been exchanging notes, which Maura loves.

Why, yes, Bam Bam is straddling our dusty chandelier.  I've been busy, okay?  And we're running out of hiding spots.


{four}

We haven't bought our tree yet.  Nor have we put up our lights.  But our neighbors across the street did.

 

I thought we left the bright lights of Las Vegas for a quiet suburb, but I guess I was wrong.

 

Let me tell you a few things about this light display.  Yes, that is a light up nativity scene.  I am totally jealous.  I've been looking for the old school, glowing lawn nativity for a few years now, but they are pricey. 

 

 

You should also know that the lights on the upstairs bedroom windows FLASH on and off ALL NIGHT LONG.

 

 

You should also know this is one of those houses that plays Christmas music outside ALL NIGHT LONG too.

 

 

{five}



Last night, Mike woke up with genuine concern about the flashing lights in our bedroom.  I had to remind him that it was only our neighbors' lights (that they never turn off).  Our bedroom is kind of like when Kramer lived across the street from the glowing Kenny Rogers Chicken sign.

 

 

{six}

 

I suppose it could be worse.  We could live across the street from this guy.

 

 

 

 

{seven}

 

 

Even Our Lady has been admiring the lights of part of a Christmas village in our daughter's room.

You should check out Cari's post about this too.



Now, go read everyone else's Quick Takes.  Have a great weekend everyone!

Oh fudge.

On this year's Christmas cards, I wrote that our 2-year-old, Griffin, was becoming more verbal.  He is.  He is learning to say all sorts of things, like...

"door open"-- when anything opens-- a door, the refrigerator, his diaper, etc.
"milk"-- an all purpose word to describe any & all liquids (including milk, water, juice, a pond, the ocean, rain, etc.)
"Mommo"-- mommy
"let's roll"-- indicates a desire to go somewhere
"beautiful princess"-- a descriptive term reserved for females wearing anything that resembles a dress (including skirts, long coats, an apron, a nightgown, a tunic, and princess dresses, of course)

You get the idea.

However, some of Griff's new words have us trying to shut him up at all costs.  Did I mention that he is the LOUDEST kid ever?  No volume control.

Case #1:
It being the Christmas season (OK- Advent), we keep seeing a lot of nativity scenes on people's lawns, the store, etc. which results in Griffin yelling "Jesus!" as loud as he possibly can over and over and over again.  Slightly embarrassing.  He also does this at church, which is equally embarrassing.

Case #2:
The other day, Grif said something (while I was changing his diaper) that ended with the letters "ock."  I was really taken aback (because he said it a few times) & even spoke to Mike about it, asking him, "You didn't say (the word in question) in front of Griffin, did you?"  Of course, Mike hadn't.  I knew Griffin was trying to say something else (but couldn't figure out what) until I remembered Grif's favorite part of his favorite movie-- Elmo's Potty Time (which he watches daily).

Go ahead & watch.

Did you catch that?  Some of the kids call their poop "ca ca."  I'm guessing that's what Griffin was trying to say when I took off the diaper.  He just left off that last (and oh, so essential) short A sound.  Phew!

Case #3:
I was putting Griffin to bed last night.  We went into the bathroom to brush his teeth, and he tripped over the step stool in front of the sink.  I almost died when he said, "Oh sh*t."

I mean, come on.  He was using the correct context & everything.  Suddenly, my body got really hot as I tried to remember if I had said the obscenity in question recently, and I was pretty sure I had.

So, my 2-year-old was swearing, and I was surely the worst. mom. ever.

Then, when we went into his room, he stepped on a toy and said, "Oh sh*t," again.  Except this time he kept saying it while holding his foot, and I realized he was saying "Ouch," (with more of a -sh ending than a -ch ending).  But, yay, I was off the hook!!!!

Here is a video of him saying "Owsh," while simultaneously running around me in circles.

"Owsh" from Kate on Vimeo.

Kids.