Thursday, August 30, 2012

Seven Quick Takes

--- 1 ---

First of all, I'd love to thank everyone who took the time to comment on last week's Quick Takes. I asked for some direction for my blog, and I really appreciated your input. The majority of commenters wanted to hear more about me and my faith journey. I want you to know I am working on that post. I may have to post the story as a series. I have about 30 minutes per day to devote to this blog, so a serious post takes me a while to write. Know that I am working on it! Thank you again to everyone who took the time to comment.

--- 2 ---

This week was my daughter's first full week of school. It's going well. Today I taught her how to get other kids to give her their lunch money.
Her teacher doesn't get paid nearly enough.

--- 3 ---

As I said in Quick Take #1, I've been working hard on my blog. I think the readers who suggested I talk more about myself were right. It helps the reader feel connected and know where the writer is coming from. It creates intimacy. One of the things I'm struggling with is how anonymous to be. I don't think I'm comfortable (at least not yet) using my last name or my kids' real names. Yet, I will admit, using pseudonyms gets old after a while. They get in the way of the stories. It's frustruating. Any suggestions? Will I relax as time goes on?

--- 4 ---

My daughter and I tried to make brownies from scratch after school today. I am not a baker. In fact, I'd say it is fair to say I am the WORST. BAKER. EVER. Last year, I offered to bake cookies for a party at my daughter's preschool. When I brought the cookies, the teachers commented, "Oh how cute! You let her decorate them!" Sadly, no, I decorated the cookies. I guess I have the skills of a 4-year-old. Then, later, I heard her teachers talking about how bad they tasted. Oh dear. How embarassing. Today's experiment with brownies rivaled those cookies from last year. My daughter and I rated them as not terrible.

--- 5 ---

Do you ever wonder how you get some of your followers on Twitter? Me too. Here's my profile.
I would assume that the people who would want to follow me would be personal friends, blog readers, or other Catholics. Some of the people who follow me are just random. I wonder if it's spam. The other day, this guy started following me. His description says he's "Stayin Fresh til I call it quits...updates on the fresh fits."
In an effort to make my Twitter account more "fresh" (his words), I may try to imitate his profile photo. I actually have that skull vodka in my pantry. Shocking, I know. I drink it while I'm baking. I have cool nerd glasses too and a J. Crew cardigan to emulate his style. I don't know how to smoke though. Bummer. Maybe I could just rub my hands in flour and smack them together to get the same effect? Yes? No?

--- 6 ---

I'm watching the Republican National Convention while I type this. I have mixed emotions about election season returning. My husband is a political junkie, and I have an interest in poltics. Elections are always exciting in our house. The coverage gives us a lot to talk about. The only drawback is how political both Facebook and Twitter become. I retweeted a few great quotes from Paul Ryan's speech last night, but that's it. I like to keep things friendly. Trust me, I have both strongly held political and religious beliefs, but I know a lot of my friends have different beliefs. I hate it when politics makes social media devisive. There is no opportunity for discussion. Discussions involving politics are always best face to face.

--- 7 ---

I have some exciting news. My husband is going to start blogging with me! We used to teach Pre Cana classes together at our old parish. Our topic was always communication. He is also a financial wiz. He paid off all of our debt in an 18 month period, which was awesome! He will introduce himself on Monday for part of a Marriage & Money Mondays series. He will add the male perspective to The Imperfect Catholic and take the lead on financial stuff since that's his thing (being Johnny Corporate and all). Have a great weekend!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Monday, August 27, 2012

If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily. ~Gerald Good

Today is Miss Never Stops Talking's first full day of school, so I need to make the most of it and clean this house. If I don't, I fear my husband will never forgive me.

Before I get started with my glamorous day of cleaning, laundry, and little boy child rearing, I'd like to take a moment to say thanks to all of my internet peeps. On Friday, I linked up with Jen Fulwiller's Seven Quick Takes and asked for some advice from my readers on how to improve my blog. Thank you to everyone who responded. I know it takes time to comment. Thank you; thank you.

Based on the comments I received, readers said they would like to hear more about my life and more specifically my faith journey. Thank you for giving me a starting point. I can't wait to start working on that story.

Also, I'd like to say thanks to all of the great Catholic bloggers out there. There are so many people that I read on a regular basis who are inspiring and make me feel better about my own struggles.

Over the weekend, I discovered Steve Gershom's blog. His writing takes my breath away because he describes some of my struggles in a far more talented and articulate manner than I ever could. I especially enjoyed his post "Masks."   I'm not sure if I should publicly admit that I have been there,  "to the point of neurosis" (well, maybe not neurosis, but I made myself unhappy)-- trying to strip myself of everything to find my authentic self, but I have.  I love this line, "I thought that if I just cut off all the artificial parts, the Real Me (which must be buried underneath) would emerge. I was trying to cast off every mask, but the more I held still to let my own face surface, the less it felt like I had a face at all."  Been there.  Done that.  I'm so relieved to hear that he didn't have a eureka moment either.  Live and learn.  Go check out Steve's blog for more geat writing.

Also, I was relieved to read Ana's funny and totally relatable post about struggling through mass with little kids.  I found her post in Google reader right when I returned from mass.  Perfect timing, right?  I have often said to friends (who am I kidding?  More like anyone who will listen) that mass with little kids has to be one of the circles of Hell.  I can't believe Dante overlooked that one.  I'm guessing he never set foot in a cry room.  His loss.

So, thanks internet peeps.  I'll work on that journey of faith post for you, but right now, I need to change some diapers.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Seven Quick Takes-- Special Edition!!!


--- 1 ---
I am thrilled to announce that today is a very special day at The Imperfect Catholic and a very special edition of 7 Quick Takes! My friend, Anne, at Whatever Works, and I have been e-mailing back and forth about how to improve our blogs, how to make them more interactive, and how to make them more authentic and reflective of who we really are. Let's face it-- blogging can be very difficult. It takes time to find both your voice and your audience as a blogger. It also takes time to get comfortable with sharing some of the more intimate parts of your life. It's hard to tell readers about what I'm struggling with. Yet, without getting into the gritty parts of life, my readers will never know who I really am, and my blog will never be authentic or intimate. Like Jen wrote about the video for Nine Inch Nail's cover of Johnny Cash's Hurt, the video captures the truth of the human experience. I hope that someday my writing evolves to the same level. So what makes today so special? Today, Anne and I are going to reveal more of ourselves through our 7 Quick Takes posts, and we are asking YOU, our readers, to PLEASE leave a comment on what you would like to see us expand on in a future blog entry next week. Please help us, fellow bloggers, to be more authentic!
--- 2 ---
Ok-- I'll start at the beginning. When I first started blogging, about two years ago, my blog's original title/subtitle was "The Imperfect Catholic: My Quest for Sainthood." The About Me section talked about how I was raised a cradle Catholic, fell away from the church, but was on my way back. I talked about wanting to be better-- a better Catholic, wife, mom, friend, etc. and how difficult, yet comical, that process was. I wanted my blog to be funny, but it never really happened. Maybe I'm just not funny? I can accept that (except it means admitting to my husband that he has been right all these years). My original blog posts were about things like flipping my husband off & then texting my friend, "Do saints flip people off?" or realizing that I probably would need to go to confession EVERY DAY to be a saint, how I kind of forgot how to go to confession after three years away, or my first daring experience drinking the Blood of Christ (it didn't go well). The reason my subtitle was "My Quest for Sainthood" was because a priest pointed out to me that to die a saint was achievable and should be my ultimate goal in life as a Catholic. No one had ever told me that before, and it made quite an impression on me.
--- 3 ---
I can almost pinpoint the moment I started to fall away from the church. I had A LOT of faith as a kid. I wasn't perfect-- who is? But I was prayerful, and I always wanted to go to mass and confession. I really believed what was being presented to me at Catholic school. When we graduated from our little K-8 Catholic school, everything started to change. I heard some of the kids in my class were having sex and drinking already, and I knew from a friend's older sister that those kind of behaviors were common among the students at the Catholic high school most of us planned to attend in the fall. I can actually remember going around one by one to my classmates at an 8th grade graduation party, saying something to the effect of, "I heard the kids at the high school drink and have sex. We're not going to do that though, right? Not us, right?" And one by one, none of my friends would answer me. I knew then that my whole world was about to change. Do I sound like a sad, little kid? Because I feel like one writing this.
--- 4 ---
I wrote a little about my *ahem* female issues here. I get all teary eyed, anxious, and feel sick to my stomach admitting all this to the world. I'm uncomfortable discussing it. However, I bring these health issues up because they have posed some unique difficulties to me as a Catholic. What does a Catholic do when the treatment options presented to her are contrary to her moral beliefs (such as hormonal contraceptives and ablation)? I'm lucky enough to have a NFP OBGYN here in California, but when I lived in Nevada, I wasn't as lucky. That was a major reason why I put off seeing a doctor for so long.
--- 5 ---
A few weeks ago, after my trip to the emergency room, I was told to follow up with my regular OBGYN immediately. The problem was I didn't have one. After calling several doctors, I finally found one who was willing to see me that day. Little did I know, he was an abortionist. The abortion doctor revealed this to me during our consult. It was a crazy encounter (especially since I'm one of those pro-life ladies who prays outside clinics). Let's just say the whole thing was stranger than fiction, and I left the clinic offering to adopt a baby because apparently, that's the kind of crazy Catholic I am now, the kind of lady who leaves her cell phone number with a madman in hopes that he'll randomly call one day.
--- 6 ---
I think I'm out of revealing stuff to share. Thinking...thinking...ooooo...oooo... I've got one. How about the story of what brought me back to the church? It was a process, but I'd say the pivotal moment was going to confession after being away for three whole years. That would make a good story too. Can you tell I'm getting more and more tired with each post?
--- 7 ---
So, I'd really love it if you would pick one of the topics above for me to expand on in a blog post next week. If you have any other comments/suggestions, I'd love to hear from you. You can leave a comment after this post or e-mail me a private message. My contact info is posted as a link from my homepage. Thanks y'all! Have a great weekend!!! And don't forget to visit Anne to give her your feedback as well. We really appreciate it!
For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Adventures in Grocery Shopping



After dropping Miss Never Stops Talking off at school this morning, I decided to make a quick stop at the grocery store for milk and produce with the boys.  Shopping with the boys is always like a game of Russian Roulette, but today I felt the odds were in my favor.

When I pulled into the parking lot, I was thrilled to see one of those carts with the big plastic car in front for a toddler.  WIN.  I grabbed the cart & noticed that the plastic car didn't have a seat belt.  This was frustrating.  I wasn't as concerned about Mr. Loudest Kid Ever's safety as I was afraid he might climb out of the plastic car & run away while I wasn't looking.  I decided to risk it.  I strapped Baby P into the baby section up top, and we went on our merry way.

While shopping, I noticed that Griffin seemed genuinely happy in his plastic car.  He was smiling & making enthusiastic engine sounds as we went up and down the aisles.  This is awesome, I thought to myself.  I might actually be able to go grocery shopping without any screaming.  This would be a major victory in my pathetic stay-at-home momma life.

As I stopped to load our cart up with blueberries and strawberries, the friendly man working the produce section bent over & started interacting with my older son.  They both made engine sounds together.

I smiled innocently, and said, "I love these carts.  It's so hard to shop with a two-year-old.  I'm thrilled to see he loves this car so much.  I might actually be able to go grocery shopping without him crying."

The produce man smiled and told me he had two kids, ages 2 and 5, and knew exactly what I was talking about.  He said he usually bribed his kids with food while he shopped with them.

I laughed, "Oh, I do that too.  I usually have to buy a bag of goldfish or pretzels while I shop."

Then it happened.  The friendly produce man smiled in agreement and then got lost in a very uncomfortable gaze at my breasts, waist, and ass.  It was the longest 10-30 seconds of my life.  Total creeper.  It was a moment straight out of Seinfeld and would have only been more comical and ironic if we were in the melon section instead of the blueberries. 

Needless to say, the boys and I promptly ended our chat with the produce man to finish our shopping.

Then Mr. Loudest Kid Ever saw the milk boxes at eye level with his car (Damn you, strategic grocery store placement), and begged for one.  Of course, I caved.

When I put the straw into the milk box and handed it to my son, he squeezed too hard and spilled it all over himself.  So, we left the grocery store crying over...you guessed it...spilled milk.



Have a great day everybody!





Wednesday, August 22, 2012

When your body fails

I am very sad to state that my body is failing me. I'm not trying to be dramatic, but it seems like my body has just given up on me. I'm such a busy person. Every day, I'm driving Miss Never Stops Talking back & forth from school, grocery shopping, cleaning, changing the endless diapers of my boys, making meals, cleaning more, doing laundry, taking the kids to the park, going for bike rides. Every day, my life is GO GO GO. So...it was incredibly frustrating & humbling when my body refused to give in to my will. Dare I say it was scary when my body stopped working with so many little ones depending on me. I was panic stricken, really.

Ever since I gave birth to our second child, Mr. Loudest Kid Ever, my periods have been longer and heavier. I won’t go into details, but it is difficult to leave the house during my heavy menstrual days. When I went to my OBGYN for a routine checkup in February 2011, I informed the nurse practitioner of this new, uncomfortable development. She pushed birth control pills as a fix all, and I refused for two reasons- one, because as a Catholic, I practiced Natural Family Planning (and did not believe in abortifacents), and two, because I wanted to know why my periods had really changed, not just mask my symptoms with artificial hormones. The nurse practitioner ordered me an ultrasound to rule out physical abnormalities such as tumors and cysts, but I never ended up having that ultrasound because I found out I was pregnant with baby number three, Baby P, before my scheduled ultrasound. When I called to tell the nurse practitioner I was pregnant, she told me to cancel the ultrasound. We would investigate if my periods became heavy again after giving birth.

After Baby P was born, my periods were the same as after Mr. Loudest Kid Ever’s birth—longer and heavier. I swore I’d take it up with my OBGYN at my next routine appointment, and I planned to, once we got settled in California. Then one day, something unexpected started happening. I started hemorrhaging. It happened at the worst time too— on moving day, the day a bunch of strangers were boxing up all of my household possessions. Again, I'll try to spare you the details, but let's just say in the few minutes that it took me to drive home from my coveted In-N-Out Burger, I bled all over the driver's side of my car. It looked like someone had been shot. The bleeding continued at an alarming rate (hemorrhaging) for 4-5 hours, but I soldiered on. After all, we were moving. I couldn't go to the emergency room. There was work to be done.

I swore I'd go see an OBGYN as soon as we settled in California, but between unpacking, setting up utilities, registering Miss Never Stops Talking for kindergarten, and flying to NY for a childhood friend's wedding, I forgot all about scheduling an appointment. Until...the hemorrhaging started again. JOY. 12 hours later I found myself in the emergency room. It was a rough day. At that point, I finally made seeing an OBGYN a priority and followed up with one. This month I have been thoroughly poked and prodded, but we're still in wait and see mode.

My body doesn't seem like my own anymore, and it sucks.  It feels foreign.  I'm not used to being sick.  I'm not used to being unable to care for my kids because my body is failing me.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Seven Quick Takes


--- 1 ---
I'm totally slacking with this blog again, but I'm happy to say I am writing. I have been working on something privately, and I think it's pretty good so far. I'm not sure if it's a multi series blog post or if it's a book in the works. Too early to tell. Anywho, I'm excited to be writing again. Also, I came up with a fiction book idea. What about a Catholic superhero book? Not sure if that sounds silly. I LOVE Catholicism & I LOVE science fiction. For me, it would be the blending of two worlds. I think it would work & maybe fit a niche for young adult Catholic literature. Who knows? I'd love to hear your comments. Drop me a line.
--- 2 ---
My dishwasher is broken. Ugh. I keep pressing the buttons over & over again, but alas, it won't work. Boo. This means I will be hand washing dishes after this blog post. I plan to bribe Miss Never Stops Talking to help me.
--- 3 ---
I had a bad experience with a new pediatrician for Miss Never Stops Talking this week. It was horrible really. The new doctor was incredibly condescending during our entire visit. I will briefly list the comments/insinuations that made my blood boil. The doctor hinted that my daughter was fat, stupid, watched too much TV, and was appalled that I didn't know that our water didn't have flouride (just moved last month). Then, she lied to my daughter & said she wasn't getting any shots. Miss Never Stops Talking grinned from ear to ear at hearing this while I tried to convince her the doctor must have made a mistake because I knew she needed a TB test for Kindergarten. Miss NST blocked out everything I was saying until the nurse walked in with the needle. Then my daughter FREAKED OUT. Needless to say, we will not be going back there.
--- 4 ---
I'm eating dark chocolate chips while I type this because I'm healthy. You're jealous, admit it.
--- 5 ---
I'm sad to report that I've only been back on Facebook for about 2 months now, and I'm over it again. I think I'll keep my account open because it's something to do when I'm bored, and it's a good way to reconnect with old friends. Truthfully, though, I'm having more fun talking to my real friends via the phone (so old fashioned, I know), and making Internet friends through Twitter and blogging. I can't believe how many awesome Catholics are out there on the Internet. So many cool blogs.
--- 6 ---
Soooo...I have a few reservations about posting this blog post link, but I think you really need to read it. A Catholic friend of mine posted it on Facebook, and when I read the title, I thought, that's just cruel.I mean, we can't protect our children from everything, right? Then, I read the article and thought, Dang, I think this lady is right. If I may, here is the quote that really got me, "A teenager opens her heart to someone who says, 'I love you…until I don’t.' And when it does end, her heart is wounded. She’ll open it again, most likely, when the next guy comes along, but certainly not as fully as she did that first time. And with each breakup, her ability to trust and believe she deserves unconditional love will be eroded. Then one day she’ll meet the person God intended for her all along. And then that man, who deserves full access to his wife’s heart, must instead spend years if not decades taking down the wall around his beloved’s heart, brick by brick." Wow. The writer is totally right. I can think of some girlfriends who were emotionally damaged by the intense sexuual and romantic realtionships they had with men who said they loved them only to use my girlfriends and leave them in the dust. Indeed, these same girlfriends did have trouble in future relationships because of the emotional wounds created by previous boyfriends. I have to say I wholeheartedly agree with the writer's arguement, yet I don't think I have the courage of conviction to enforce this rule with our children. I would feel terrible, thinking I was denying them some sort of rite of passage as a teenager. I started dating at 14 years old, and I turned okay, right? I would be lying though if I didn't admit that I have often wondered how I turned out differently than some of my other friends. Yikes. This is a tough one. Great article. Great discussion piece. Enjoy.
--- 7 ---
I hate to admit this, but I'm having some medical issues that I don't care to go into. I'd love some prayers though. I need them. If you don't mind, could you say a quick prayer for me? Much appreciated!!! Have a great weekend everybody!
For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Friday, August 10, 2012

Seven Quick Takes


--- 1 ---
It has been exactly 1 month since I last wrote a blog post, and I'm sorry. I promised myself that I wouldn't neglect this blog while I was moving, and I did. I could not help it! Life happened. So, I'm going to join the talented Jennifer Fulwiler at Conversion Diary (and all the other mommy bloggers I follow) in Seven Quick Takes to let you know everything that happened while I was away.
--- 2 ---
The movers boxed up everything we owned but couldn't fit it all on one truck. They promised us the second load of our stuff would be shipped two days later. They asked what we wanted on the first truck. We stated the obvious-- beds, bedding, pots & pans, food, a table, a couch. Guess what? The movers lied. Our belongings did not come 2 days later. The second load of stuff didn't come for an additional 3 weeks. Here's what I was missing that I really needed-- bedding (even though we asked that it be packed on the first truck), my double stroller (going any where with a nonwalker & a runner is HORRIBLE without one), a vacuum (imagine what my floors looked like after 3 weeks with 2 adults, 3 kids, and a dog--YUCK!), a computer, a television (baby crack would have been especially helpful while trying to unpack), the clothes & luggage needed for a wedding 2 weeks after we moved (1 week before the clothes arrived), clothes for both Mr. Loudest Kid Ever & Baby P (that's right folks, my two boys wore the same 4 outfits that I packed for our drive to CA-- LOTS OF LAUNDRY).
--- 3 ---
Baby P got a black eye from rolling off the bed. I still can't talk about it. Too horrible.
--- 4 ---
We drove 10 hours from NV to northern CA & survived!!! The kids were great! We celebrated my father-in-law's birthday at a local, kid-friendly brew pub (lots of families). Mr. Loudest Kid Ever fit right in!
--- 5 ---
I discovered that a few things needed to be fixed in the new house-- like the black water in the bath tub.
--- 6 ---
I flew to NY to see my best friend from childhood get married...
...in the beautiful church she grew up attending & made her sacraments in. Catholic LOVE!!! It was great seeing my family and old friends from high school.
--- 7 ---
A lot more has happened too, so hopefully I'll get back to writing soon. Heading to the circus tomorrow. I hope the boys can handle it (without screaming & crying). Have a great weekend!
For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!